Jun 9, 2012

In search of myself


(Impulsive post. I am sure I'll be embarrassed when I read it after a few days/weeks/years) :-)

We change. In many ways. We change as a friend, as a son/daughter, as a significant other and in many other ways. Whether the change is for good or not, is something that’s unknown. There’s this thing, I miss the old me. How this change occurred is something that’s unknown to me. Was it me, the place, the people, or life as such? I am unable to pinpoint at one thing.

It’s interesting how you can relate to a song, especially with its lyrics, even though the meaning of the lyrics and the reason for you to relate to it needn’t necessarily have a connection or a common premise. I miss the old me, or rather an old part of me. And I don’t think I could have summarized it better than a few lines in this song. However narcissistic this might sound, considering the old me was a part of me, in fact my better half, is what I’ve come to believe. Running away from myself is something that’s probably happened.

thalaivaa sugama sugama? un thanimai sugama sugama?
How is your solitude doing?

sirumai kandu thavitthen en siragail ondrai muritthen, ottrai chiragil oona paravai etthanai dhooram parappen?
I ended up breaking one of my wings, and how far can I fly with just one wing?

anbae unnai veruththen, en arivai naane eriththen, uravin perumai pirivil kandu uyiril paadhi kuraindhen
I absolutely hated you and in the process burnt my intelligence, I realized the importance of relationships and lost half of my soul.

After all, vaazhkkai or vattam pol mudindha idatthil thodangadha, is surely what one wants, right? :-) (can life not start at an ending point like how a circle does?)

And nothing better than this to ask myself: Unn poigal ellaam sugamaa-aaa?  (Are your lies all fine?)

And does ‘Kuraigal ullathu manitha uravugal puriyadha?’ (aren’t human relationships allowed to be flawed?) answers it all. With respect to I, Me and Myself.

(These lines from Azhage Sugamaa and Anbe Sugamaa, two absolutely wonderful songs from the movie Paarthaale Paravasam. Sung by Sadhana Sargam and Srinivas and composed by A.R.Rahman)

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful song... I guess everyone who is love/break struck can resonate with this song... Past history?

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  2. @anandhame - Sure definitely a song that people can relate to. And fortunately, no past history :-) Just the feeling of the losing a part of me...

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  3. Hmm... Ok I believed you ;)

    The mobile site template looks better than the desktop version.

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  4. I think you could explain more on the lines as there are very specific words that add something to the line. like you missed the idea of Oona Paravai ..

    // anbae unnai veruththen, en arivai naane eriththen, uravin perumai pirivil kandu uyiril paadhi kuraindhen
    I absolutely hated you and in the process burnt my intelligence, I realized the importance of relationships and lost half of my soul.
    (whats Absolute hate? :) )

    I hated you and in the process burnt my intelligence. (Lack of better term) Understood the depth of relationship in separation and lost half of my soul.

    Uravin Perumai Pirivil kandu

    Kuraigal ullathu manitha uravugal puriyadha?’ (aren’t human relationships allowed to be flawed?)

    Can we not REALIZE that Human Relationships ARE flawed.

    The reason why he wrote it that way is because - we know that human relationships are flawed in reference to our "perfect relationship" - when do we start to realize that and accept it that it is what it is. it will be flawed in your reference and it is perfect to the level it can be.

    And yes, the mood to the song is stunning. Sahana Raagam - i am told - being KB's favorite and Vairamuthu stuns every one with profoundness in lyrics and of course the language helping him adequately.

    There is always a me that gets lost to the new me - and some one from the past does note that. somewhere in your context i would read it like an alter ego singing coz you lost touch with the older you... or something like that .. :)

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  5. @Sreekrishnan, Thanks for the detailed comment. You analysed those lines in a much better way.

    'Can we not REALIZE that Human Relationships ARE flawed' is what it is!

    And this part about 'an alter ego singing coz you lost touch with the older you' makes a lot of sense. Do our alter egos have a shorter lifespan compared to 'actual' us? :-)

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